Grooms – Your Wedding Speech Looms

Image: Corbis

A well-dressed man rises before his piers
A piece of paper is read aloud
An imminent verdict is awaited
By the large expectant crowd

His collar becomes much tighter
Beads of sweat now spot his palm
Another man stands beside him
Firmly gripping the first man’s arm

This other man has his orders
To take the first man down
As much as it pains him to do so
He’ll paint him the boozy clown

I can guess what you were thinking
And I’m sorry to burst your bubble
He hasn’t broken the law at all
He’s not in that kind of trouble

This groom just gave his wedding speech
Of public speaking, he’s not a fan
The ‘verdict’ comes via applause (or not)
And ‘taking him down’ will be Best Man…

…down a peg or two that is
In front of everyone he’ll know
Cos as good a friend he’s always been
He’s gotta put on a show

To steal your poise and plunder your pride
There really is no rule
And by the time he’s finished
You’ll be the embarrassed fool

After his speech, his legend is sealed
So why wasn’t yours just as funny?
Instead of standing confident
You stood a nervous little bunny

So if you don’t wanna end up ‘in the dock’
If you want your speech to shine
If your battered confidence duly needs
More than a glass or two of wine

I’ll help you quash that nervousness
Your audience will be engaged
Your confidence will be booming
Your Best Man left all upstaged

Or maybe something more heartfelt
A tribute to your bride
After all, it’s she who has your heart
Now swelling with eternal pride

If your speech is already covered
Then I wish you the best of luck
But I’m here to help, if you find
A speech leaves you dumbstruck

 

Wedding Belle’s

So he proposed to you eventually
After many years of dating
Cos a bigger pledge was needed right?
And this girl was done with waiting!

He DID impress! So you said “Yes!”
Was there ever any doubt?
Though he needed courage to ask your Dad
With a glass of strongest stout

You loved the ring. Some serious bling!
Then the wedding had to be planned:
From invitations to the catering
From flowers to wedding band

With venue: secured and weather: assured!?
Your summer wedding is nearly there
You’ve chosen your lovely Bridesmaids
And the stylist to do your hair

Your wedding theme and colour scheme
Has all your unique flair
You found the perfect Bridesmaids gowns
And you’ve even dressed the chairs

After all that organisation
I think you deserve a rest
When your perfect day comes around
Just sit pretty and look your best

Thank God you don’t have to stand up
To speak to one and all
Instead you will be sitting down
The radiant belle of the ball

So NOW the pressure is off you
It’s the boys’ turn I do believe
A great speech, is not always
Something easy to achieve

Especially for your Father:
Already sad to give you away
Struggling with this reality
He now has to find the words to say

Poems Perfect can help him
If giving speeches ain’t his thing
He need only tell me what to say
And I’ll make his dull words sing

So if Dad is struggling with his speech
I shall aid him in how to say,
All his nostalgic anecdotes
On your very special day

I’d be glad to be of service

A Father giving away his Daughter

The first time I laid eyes on you
I knew right from the start
Whatever life may throw at us
We could never be apart

 Nothing I had felt prior
Could ever have prepared me for
The feeling of total love I had
For this baby who I adore

 But that was just the beginning
There were more events to come
From changing your nappy at bed times
To tucking you in with Mum

 In later years, we had our rows
And sometimes we would shout
But it never really took too long
To remember what life’s about

The first time that you entered this world
A promise I did make
Never would I let you go
But that promise I must now break

 For today as I stand most proudly
As you marry your man most dear
Your Dad remembers his little girl
And can’t help but shed a tear